


Inevitable, Really

by Bo (Pikes_PornTime_Pamphlets)



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Bad Perc'ahlia is Bad, Therapy Gnome, This Broom Was Made For Walking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-08-20 09:35:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8244575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pikes_PornTime_Pamphlets/pseuds/Bo
Summary: "Pike, did I marry my father?"Vex'ahlia comes to terms with Percy's behavior and how it has been affecting her.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Working through some Perc'ahlia thoughts. This one ended up a little rushed, might try to expand on it at some point.

Vex walks slowly into Pike's room, and before she even looks at her face, Pike knows something is wrong.

Vex sits down, is about to say something, stops, and Pike realizes that she is crying. The little gnome takes hold of her hand. Eventually, when it has run its course, Vex wipes at her face and begins again.

 

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

 

“What wasn’t?”

 

“Us. Me and him.”

 

“What happened?” Pike asks, not because she doesn’t know, or at least suspect, but because she knows that Vex needs to say it.

 

“Nothing… happened, exactly. I don’t even know if anything’s wrong. Maybe I’m just being an idiot,” Vex says as she gives a small, hollow, joyless laugh. And, slowly, she begins to explain.

 

She never thought it was going to be easy, to be clear. Especially after that letter, she knew there’d be things they would have to talk about if this was going to go anywhere. And they did talk. It took time to get there, and it was never for very long, but she’d remind him of how much his friends cared about him, what good things he was capable of doing. How, when the hurt was bad enough, it was sometimes easier to think one deserved it, that it was one’s fault, than accept the truth of what happened. And it seemed like she was getting through to him, after a while.

 

In retrospect, perhaps that had merely been wishful thinking.

 

The problem was that in many other respects, he hadn’t changed, he was still the same Percy they’d always known. But that only made it worse, because the Percy she knew, the one she thought she knew, would’ve realized what he was doing. It wasn’t just that he didn’t believe her. After those talks – or many other talks, but those in particular – she would always feel like he had secretly been… tolerating her, almost mocking her, as though her sincere belief was something that made her less than him, that his misery and his intellect went hand in hand and her attempts to pull him away from that stemmed from some childish naïveté.

 

The world was the way he thought it to be, and to believe otherwise was admirable but ultimately foolish. _She_ was foolish.

 

It wasn’t always like that. He could be quite loving, when he cared to be. But more and more, something just felt… wrong. It was never anything she could quite put her finger on. Little asides that he’d make, never quite reaching the point of outright insults but she would feel hurt and then think herself silly for feeling that way. Conversations that would gradually reveal themselves to be entirely one-sided. Days where he’d spend hours locked away in that workshop, so she’d try to make the most of their time once he’d emerged, only to be rebuffed as he shuffled off to some other room.

 

“And then last week,” Vex sniffs. “We had guests, some visiting dignitary and her husband from Emon, perfectly boring, normal people. We talk for a while, and I’m sitting there, next to him, listening to him speak the way he always does with other… _gentry_ , and I just have the strangest déjà vu. I can’t quite place it but there’s something so familiar. It sticks with me all day, and I can’t figure out, until finally, we’re going to bed for the night and all of a sudden it hits me.”

 

“What does?”

 

“Do you remember that time in the Feywild? When we went to Syngorn?”

 

“I do, yes! I mean, not all of it. But I heard about the rest. That was when Percy gave you the title, right?”

 

“Yes. He did that when we met with… with my father.”

 

“I thought that was very nice of him.”

 

“Y-yes,” Vex tilts her head slightly, frowning. That isn’t the point she wants to make. “I was thinking about Devana. My father’s wife. How she’d behaved when we were there. I remember thinking, how could this perfectly nice woman live with someone like… like him? How could she make excuses for him? He was so… so _proud_ , so totally unlike her.” Vex turns up to look intently at Pike, her eyes red.

 

“Pike, did I marry my father?”

 

“I, uh…” Pike blinks, stunned. This is not the direction she had expected things to take. “I don’t know.”

 

“You know we never had… any relationship at all, really. He was such a _miserable_ man. And it seems so strange a comparison to make, because… because I thought the reason I fell in love with Percival was because he was so different from my father. He listened, he cared, he gave. And I knew he was hurting, we all did. But now, it’s like… like he’s being this other person, and the more I try to connect with the real him, the closer I get, the more he uses it as an excuse to make me feel what he’s feeling. Or… I don’t know. It’s stupid.”

 

“It’s not stupid,” Pike rests a hand on Vex’s arm. “Sometimes people who are feeling bad about themselves take it out on other people, that’s not something new.”

 

“I understood when it was _other_ people,” Vex continues. “He would put on his… mask, and be the head of the De Rolo house, because that’s what was needed. It was a game that needed to be played. That’s what I thought. But sometimes it’s like I don’t even recognize him anymore. And I haven’t felt this way since I was living in Syngorn, it’d been so long I’d blocked out the memories, almost. This awful kind of… I don’t know. I'm not sure it's even that he reminds me of my father, just the way my father used to make me feel. It's been there from the beginning, I just... I thought we could work through it.”

 

“Have… have you talked to Vax about this?”

 

“No!” Vex grunts, almost a laugh. “Vax wouldn’t understand. He’d believe me, of course, but he wouldn’t know how to help. He’d just get angry and make things worse.”

 

“Well…” Pike begins, unsure of what exactly she could even say. “I've been gone a while so I don't know everything that's happened. But…”

 

“But what?” Vex smiles in a way that breaks Pike’s heart. “I’m just overreacting?”

 

“No,” Pike says firmly. “The Vex I knew wouldn’t take shit from anyone. The Vex I knew would go with her gut every time. So if this Vex isn’t doing that, then something must be wrong.”

 

“So what am I supposed to do?” Vex said. “I don’t know what to say to him anymore. I’ve already said everything. I know he’s not a bad person, it’s not like that…”

 

“He doesn’t have to be,” Pike sighs, and then it all just spills out, like she’s realizing it as she says it. “We all knew Percy was having problems. And I was so happy for you two, because I thought it would be good for him, and for you. But if that’s not happening, then… you shouldn’t feel like you have to stay if you’re not happy anymore. You tried to help. I know you did. But you can’t hold yourself responsible for him.”

 

Vex’s eyes are dry now, and she is surprised at how little the thought of leaving him troubles her, despite being the first time she has been willing to truly acknowledge the possibility. “Is that it, then?”

 

“I don’t know. Maybe not. But if this is just who he is now, then… I dunno. ”

 

“…Alright.”

 

“Besides, if you keep crying Trinket might eat him.”

 

=====

 

The conversation, when it finally happens, goes about as well as she could have expected.

 

“I suppose this is my fault,” He sighs complacently. “Don’t blame yourself. I should have known this wasn’t the kind of life for you. This was inevitable, really.”

 

In her mind, it’s already been over for days now, but to listen to him try to weasel his way into acting like this was his idea, she almost wants to stay just out of spite. “Percival, I tried. Honest to gods, I really did. But if you’re just going to use that as encouragement to stay in your dark hole, there’s no point in this continuing.”

 

“You’re a good person, Vex’ahlia,” He nods, fingers wreathed beneath his chin. “You deserve better, honestly.”

 

It’s enough to make her want to slap him. “ _This_! This is what I’m talking about! You’ve already decided what this is about and you’re not even listening to what I’m saying anymore. It’s like you want this to fail because that proves you right. But you’re not.”

 

“Vex, I understand why you’re upset –“

 

“No, you don’t. You understand why the version of me in your head would be upset. Me, the real me, is upset because she knows it didn’t have to be like this. This could’ve been really good, Percival. We could have been good. We were worth trying for.”

 

There’s more she wants to say but she can’t anymore, she just doesn’t have the energy. She turns and starts walking out of the main hall, Trinket slowly plodding along behind her, head hanging.

 

 


End file.
